Strange Genitals
by LadyFangs
Summary: There has been much speculation on Vulcan male anatomy, and now its time for that speculation to become observable fact. A crack-fic, featuring the best of the worst fandom theories on Spock's lok.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: I make no excuses...except to say, "Calliope made me do it." I am leaving this one open, for now. _

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Strange Genitals: The Retractable Penis  
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**Part I**

She was almost giddy with excitement, fidgeting with nervousness and torn between being extremely horny and highly curious. Today was her birthday. In more ways than one it would seem, and he had promised the night would be special. Well, his actual words had been, "To celebrate one's entrance into the physical world is illogical; however, I will yield to human customs for you."

She chuckled a little at the thought.

Now, at the end of a lovely evening, here they were, together and alone in his San Francisco apartment. It was her 21st birthday, and ever since they had come together a year ago, he had made her wait.

_His kisses were like fire trailing a path from her mouth to her neck...down the center of her breasts, making her burn for him. She wanted him...and he let his hands comply, never removing his lips from their place around her left nipple… he dipped-just enough to pick her up by her legs and wrap them around his waist as he moved their bodies to the bed._

_"Spock..."_

_She almost didn't recognize her own voice as his hands took over and when she felt the warm push of his fingers between her legs, she clenched tight in anticipation and then..._

_"Spock!" _

_Her body jerked up as he slipped one, then two, fingers inside her wetness and began to move them simultaneously. All she could think about was how wonderful it was that her boyfriend was a touch-telepath with talented hands and magical fingers..._

_Soon her own hands had moved under his shirt, feeling the smooth contours of the muscles in his back...so hard and firm...letting her own fingers entwine in the silken chest hair and follow the happy trail down...down…down..._

_He was so caught up he hadn't noticed her roaming hands until she had managed to undo his belt and was busy unzipping his pants. He felt a smaller, cooler hand hit right above his—_

_"No, Nyota_!_" _

_He stopped his ministrations abruptly, withdrawing his fingers from their home inside her heat as he moved off her and away._

_And suddenly the room felt very, very cold without his body there to keep her warm. She was still wet and wanting as she sat up. Blinking in confusion as Spock retreated back into full Vulcan mode._

_"Why did you stop?" _

_She demanded- no, _pleaded_, her eyes entreating him to come back._

_"It is too soon. You are not ready."_

_"Not ready? Are you serious!"_

_Quickly she rose from the bed to walk over to the corner of the room where he now stood. Moving close to him she grabbed one hand and put it between her legs as she stood on tip toe and whispered breathlessly in his ear._

_"I am MORE than ready Spock. And I am sure your sensitive nose can tell as much."_

It had not been enough to sway him then, and she had stormed off in anger, returning to her dorm to take the coldest shower ever. Later that night she finished what he started- _Alone_, and in her own bed.

Afterward, they did not speak to each other for a week. Her out of anger, and him-well, probably because he knew she was mad. But eventually, they had settled on boundaries. And, she loved him. She could wait until he was ready. He had told her that he was experienced, and so she knew it was nothing about purity and being virginal- and hell, let's face it, he was too damn sexy of a male specimen NOT to have some experience. But when she asked about it, he was vague.

"You would not appreciate it if I were to inquire about the number of sexual partners _you_ have had," he'd said one day when they were snuggled together on his living room couch. She had silently acknowledged the truth in his statement, but still the mystery of Spock and sex consumed her mind.

She'd researched Vulcan mating habits, Vulcan sexuality, Vulcan genitalia and all kinds of other terms but had found nothing. So, it was either lose a great and loving boyfriend over something as trivial as _sex_ (which, let's face it…wasn't exactly _trivial _because it was still legal for married couples to get divorced because of one partner or the other was …inept in the sex department) , or hang in there until he gave the green light. In the end, she'd opted to buy a 10-inch "friend" that was green, vibrated, lined with delicious ridges and swirled and glowed in the dark, to get her through those VERY long and lonely nights.

And now, the wait was over.

**Part II**

She was here. In his room, in his bed with nothing between them except for a short, sheer nighty with nothing underneath. She heard his footsteps pad out of the bath room and stuck her head up from the swath of warm blankets she was currently nestled in to see him.

Oh! He was so beautiful. He couldn't see what she had on, but, of course, that was the intent. He came over to the bed, clad in nothing but loose pants hung low on his hips and her eyes roved over the slight green tinge of his skin still damp from the shower and how his chest hair made that happy trail down..._ohhhh_ _that trail_. She loved that trail, and she wanted to follow it wherever it may lead. With her mouth.

"Nyota," he said as he climbed onto the bed and hovered over her and the look in his eyes was enough to make her melt- physically and literally as she felt herself begin to get wet. She closed her eyes as he moved the covers away to reveal her.

She heard him inhale deeply and knew he could smell her arousal and suddenly she just lost it and reached up to wrap her arms around his neck and pull him down to meet his lips in a kiss. And just like that the fires between them ignited as he tossed the blankets onto the floor and was busy removing her negligee, letting his mouth work her neck as her hands roamed down his bare back to nestle themselves in the waistband of his pants to reveal that oh so glorious-

**"No!"**

He swatted her hands away and was up and off her so fast she barely had time to come out of her haze to realize that he wasn't there anymore, and this time, when she did, she was pissed.

Nyota sat bolt upright in bed and glared at him, not caring one iota that she was naked as a jaybird. He was still next to her but had put distance between them.

"Spock, what the hell?"

If looks could kill she was clearly taking aim at her Vulcan not-quite-yet- lover/boyfriend and she was hot and bothered and furious as she eyed him hard.

He reached out his arms to try to touch her and she jerked away.

"No! Explain now. Explain and talk about why you refuse to have sex with me! Dammit Spock it's been a fuckin' year! You can't keep doing this to me!" She was so frustrated she didn't know whether to scream or cry and the last part of her exclaimation came out as a choked sob.

To make matters worse, her body was still trying to do what obviously, wasn't about to happen.

She moved to get up with every intent to storm into to the bathroom, fully preparing to get dressed and go home. This was it. She couldn't take it anymore. Spock was bullshitting and she no longer wanted or cared to try and be the "understanding" girlfriend. This was ridiculous.

Unfortunately, she never reached the door. In fact, her toes didn't even have time to hit the carpet before his arms were around her pulling her back down to the bed and he was on her again. But this time, she was pinned underneath his body and he had her hands above her head held there with only one of his.

Funny...she'd never realized quite how strong he was...the idea sent a thrill through her but she focused on her anger. He was not gonna get away with it. Not this time. So she turned away from him, her face hard.

"Nyota, please do not leave. I simply...I was...not..._ready_."

Something in her softened at the earnestness of his words and despite her inner protestations, she looked at him. Soulful brown eyes met hers in entreaty and she melted.

"Spock..."

He let go of her hands and she wrapped her arms and legs around him. Spock was smart enough this time not to forcibly remove her as she began kissing his neck his lower jaw his chin...

He let out a groan his when she bit his lower ear and his hands pressed her hips into the mattress as he shifted, eyes closed and enjoying the pleasure her tongue on his ear elicited...and completely missed it when those delicate hands eased their way down...down...down...until...

"Um...Spock?"

And then, three things happened simultaneously:

1. A rush of cool air hit his bare ass.  
2. He realized _where_ Nyota's hands were.  
3. His penis finally disengaged from where it had been sheathed _inside_ his body and unfurled in her hand with a soft, wet _plop_.

If he could turn any greener he would probably be listed as a leprechaun but at the moment he remained frozen in position on top on Nyota, but absolutely refusing to meet her eyes. The secret was out. Quite literally.

A long, painful and awkward silence ensured between them until, he felt her hand begin to stroke him and despite himself inhaled sharply at her touch as his body began to react to her ministrations.

"Nyota..."

"Yes Spock?"

He heard the smile in her voice and raised his head to look at her. Indeed, he had assumed correctly.

"You are not...uncomfortable...with this?"

She cupped his testes in her hand causing him to growl low and flip her over so that she was now on top. Her lithe body slid to the side of him and her warm mouth began to trace the path her hands had taken moments earlier across his now completely nude body.

She looked up from where she had her tongue poised at his navel.

"Why? I'm VERY happy with what I've been given..." she replied in a appreciative voice as she dropped her head to place a kiss at the tip of his lok causing him to arch into her attentions.

"And baby...do you know what a "Ken doll" Is?"

***END***


	2. Backballed aka The Purr: SpockLikesCats

_**Author's Note:** If you have an idea, or would like to contribute a story to this project, let me know! It's all in good fun, and is a collaborative effort with as many author's as we can get (and ideas submitted)._

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Back-Balled & The Purr**

**By SpockLikesCats**

There were a few things Nyota Uhura enjoyed about being the partner of a half-alien sweetheart.

One, his touch telepathy, enhanced by his tendrils, curly stalks, or "tentacles," as Gaila persisted in calling them. You see, once Spock and Nyota were fully engaged in coitus, his tendrils could directly touch her in certain sensitive areas and send a mental "zing" right through her joy-parts. While his wonderfully sized, double-frenulum "jade stalk" could go on satisfying her vagina, or vajay-jay, as Gaila...well, you get the idea about Gaila. She just loved to have fun with "parts names."

His tendrils, if Spock and Uhura decided on "Human-style" coupling, could coil up behind his testicles and wait there politely until called upon.

One evening, as Uhura stroked his testicles, and played a bit with his tendrils [she loved when they curled around her fingers and gently uncurled], Spock said, "Ashayam ... would you stroke my lower back as well?"

He was already purring, deeply in his chest, and she moved her hands to his lower back, saying, "Tell me where, mpenzi."

"There! ... There," he said, trying to act calm.

She stroked, and his purr went from a constant PUR-RRR-RRRR-RRRR to a PRR-rrr-RRRRR-rrr-RRRR!

She felt what she had never felt before: that just beneath his lower back muscles, where the iliac crests met the thoracolumbar fascia and above his gluteus maximus, were two cavities, and in those cavities ... she gently explored, and Spock's erect penis, already large, got even larger, and he was now beginning to grunt a bit.

"They feel like ... balls, suspended in slippery tissue."

"Yee-eee-ess," Spock said.

She wasn't sure if he was agreeing with her, or vocalizing his pleasure.

"Spock, _are_ they balls? I mean, testicles?"

"Yee-eee-ess," Spock said.

"And you like for me to touch them?"

His verbosity at an end, Spock nodded and kissed her deeply. And they all got busy at once: his tendrils got to work on her joy parts, his lips descended to her breasts, nipples, neck, lips ... Nyota happily nibbled at his nipples, eliciting more grunts, and nuzzled his chest hair, and moved up to kiss his throat through which she could feel his raspy breaths. Spock pressed his penis into her center and in ... and out, pop-pop for both frenulums [frenulae? she wondered, but lost track of her thoughts] and in ... and after twenty or thirty minutes of lovely slippery congress, they reached their climax in different voices:

"Grrr-rrrrr-!" [Spock]

"Engh-enghhhhhh-enghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-agghhhhhhhhh-annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...AAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" [Uhura]

They lay together, overcome, praised each other, petted and kissed each other's hair and face respectively and wonderingly, and fell asleep in a tangle.

Uhura woke a little later; she had to pee. She went to the head and when she returned to bed, Spock had curled toward her side. She insinuated herself gently, lifting his uppermost arm to put around herself, and looked at him in the very low light of his quarters. When he slept he looked as innocent as a boy: his long dark lashes in crescents against his pale face, his beautifully-formed mouth stilled in a slight smile. And his hair, in sleep, was not so orderly. Since the end of Vulcan, Spock did not want to sleep in the dark; he preferred to keep the lights on at least five per cent, tinted red-orange to remind him of home.

Once he was asleep, deeply asleep, she had found she could "pet" him to her heart's content, and this would not wake him unless it got too sexual. She could gently kiss his face, which she now did. And raised her arm and wriggled it subtly around so she could pet the hair on his lower arm, which was nearly as thick as a cat's, and as soft.

Then she decided to experiment. She let her hand creep around his iliac crest [she loved looking at Spock in the nude; he had the most beautifully muscled torso] and found the indentation again. She pet it gently, feeling a tiny bit of "give," and Spock's eyes snapped open.

"RRRR-rrrrr-RRRRR-rrr-RRRRR" he said. He came strongly erect, and his tendrils sought for contact.

"Oh ... sweetheart, I didn't mean to wake you," Uhura said, feeling bad that she had disturbed his sleep.

"I should have told you. When you stroke these, it means you are ready for sex. Because_ I _will be."

His voice sounded vaguely ... not threatening, exactly, but impatient with any "games" he might be perceiving.

"Well, then, I guess we'll just have to go ahead, won't we," Uhura smiled, although she was a little tiny bit sore from last time.

"Yes. We will."

And they did. Spock, perceiving her soreness, proceeded very gently, and their union was quite lovely. This time Spock fell asleep on his back and Uhura contented herself with nestling her head in his shoulder and petting his chest hair and the Path to Paradise, or, as Gaila liked to call it, his Happy Trail.

The next day was a stressful one. They approached Deep Space Three for supplies, and Captain Kirk, as usual, was tense because, concentrating on their last exploratory mission, he had failed to plan ahead for the proper procurement requests for disbursement of supplies the Enterprise needed. Fortunately he had a Vulcan as his First Officer. Who had.

Spock and Kirk emerged from the captain's Ready Room and Kirk slapped him on the shoulder. "We've got the supplies, thanks to Commander Spock!"

Spock all but rolled his eyes as he approached his station. Uhura happened to be passing him and she winked. He frowned ... he was still not used to her winking at him. He was quite sure it was inappropriate, but if he was the only person who saw it, he supposed it was permissible. It did give him a little secret jolt, which he would never admit to anyone.

He sat down at his station and began reviewing the supplies coming aboard. Persaminators, 20 count, check. New improved Starfleet toilets, 100 count, check. Litter for Lieutenant M'Ress, 200 Kilograms, new! recyclable, check. Small prey animals for Lieutenant M'Ress, non-sentient, 200 kilos, check. [Spock shivered.]

Plasteel for repairs to Bridge Viewing station [Kirk seemed to manage to crack, break, or scrape it on every mission], 2000 kilos, check. Lestriol, 700 liquid milliliters, check. Phylitol, 6000 grams, check. Coriander, one gram, check. Natural spices, oils, herbs and artificial flavors too numerous to mention, in counts too numerous to mention, check. Cinnamon, 6000 sticks, check. [Spock made some plans for some of those.] Cocoa Liquor, 70 liters, check [and ditto].

He continued through the checklist, and, when he came to the end, rose to bend over his station and convey that the order had been received and the official message of thanks from the _USS Enterprise_. Just as he completed the message, he felt a hand on his lower back. _Stroking._ Briefly, but _still!_ He turned to snap an order and saw Uhura smiling her broad smile at him as she walked toward her communications station at his left, her ponytail swinging in a flirty manner. He frowned as sternly as he possibly could considering his present condition and quickly ... _sat._

"Spock, could I see you for a minute?" Kirk said, from the center well.

"Captain ... I ... in a moment ... would that be all right?"

"Sure, Spock, I've got all day." Kirk kept the sarcasm out of his voice, because after all, he owed Spock and he knew it.

Spock concentrated. _Very hard. No ... hard is not the right word. Deeply. No, that is not the right word either ... I must ... fuck ... make love ... I mean ... I must ... be ... rational ... must ... conquer ... no that is not the right concept ... go limp, detumesce, limp, limp, go limp ... okay ...stay... stay ... _He rose and strode to the middle of the Bridge_._

"You saved my hash with the Deep Space Three commander today, Spock. Y'know her nickname is the Iron Maiden? Let me give you the rest of the day off."

Spock's eyebrows shot up. "Thank you, Captain," he said with alacrity. He exited the bridge, but only after he went up to his station, moved to the left, touched Uhura on a psi point on the back of her neck and said mentally, _You have been Very. Naughty. See me after shift._

Uhura fairly bounced into his quarters, like Gaila might have. She was expecting hot sex, but she got instead a very sour-faced Vulcan.

"Are you aware of the danger you put us into this afternoon?"

"Wha-a-at?"

"Yes ... danger. I was so caught up in my sexual concupiscence I had to wait before I could attend the captain. Do you understand that if we had been in a dangerous situation, I would have been too ... _distracted_ to do my duty?"

"Oh, no, Spock! I never meant-"

"And this is the problem; I need to thoroughly explain certain aspects of my being to you so that you can understand their implications."

"Well ... please do. Can I order us some dinner while you do? I'm hungry."

"By all means," Spock said. "Some khalissi soup would be most welcome."

Uhura turned to a computer and keyed in her order. "Do you mind if I order dessert?"

"Not at all." After a pause, Spock said, "I will begin. You must never touch me there when we are not able to copulate."

"On the Bridge?" Was that a smirk he saw on Uhura's face?

"No, Nyota, on my lower back...'balls.' My chenesi."

"Sorry, I was trying to be funny. Okay. I can't touch you there. Is there anywhere I _can_ touch you when we are on the Bridge?"

"My sleeve, perhaps?" Spock suggested. "It is not wise to have skin-to-skin contact. Actually, it is not wise for you to be touching me in any way on the Bridge, because I am a senior officer."

"Oh, go ahead and say 'superior' officer. Anyone else would."

"But I am superior only in rank, my Nyota," Spock said, utterly charming her. "Now. I have one thing other that I must convey to you."

She looked at him, his beautiful dark chocolate eyes, his Cupids' bow mouth, the curls at the corners; his lean physique, his intense expression, and thought, _You could read me the list of supplies and I'd listen to you all night long, baby._

"It is this. When you hear me purring, it means I must be sexually satisfied _right then_. You must stop whatever you are doing and make love with me."

"Umm ... okay. Not a problem!"

The processor beeped; their food had materialized, and Uhura took out the trays and put them on Spock's table so they could eat.

And then they had dessert: chocolate chess pie with a barely perceptible hint of cinnamon. It was one of Uhura's favorites. McCoy had put her onto it: it had a near pudding-like inside, with a crispy upper crust, almost like a chocolate creme brulee.

The doctor had said, one day, when they met in the galley, "Uhura, c'mere; take a bite of this!" He knew she loved chocolate. It was one of the vices they shared. Uhura looked at it and raised her eyebrows at him: _Are you sure it's OK?_ "Yeah, come on." He extended his fork. She slipped the bite into her mouth and the velvety inside melted on her tongue and the crusty top crunched in her teeth and she swallowed and smiled.

"It's heavenly! What is it?"

"Chocolate Chess Pie. My momma's recipe. Just look it up under Miz Leona McCoy."

"Oh my _God_, I will; I promise you that."

So she had, and she had enjoyed it several times. She had never tried it on Spock. She had heard that chocolate made Vulcans tipsy. Perhaps she should ask him.

"Is it true about Vulcans and chocolate?"

Spock took a large bite of pie, chewed it with all appearance of total enjoyment, and took another. "Yes," he said, and put the bite into his mouth.

Uhura was quite tired. For her, it had been a long day. Coordinating the reception and distribution of goods with the Supply Officer, monitoring and intervening in quarrels about the distribution, calling the captain to intervene in some particularly fractious episodes, had pretty much exhausted Uhura's spirits. So, twenty minutes after falling asleep, when she heard

she at first paid no attention. She turned in the bed so her back was to Spock and fell asleep again.

was right in her ear. She shook her head and laid her upper arm over her ear.

His penis was pressed against her uppermost buttock.

Was that a _tendril _questing around the cleft of her rear? _Oh no you __**don't.**_

"Spock, what's up? I'm tired."

Fingers moved to her psi points. _I need you. __**Love. Now.**_

"Oh for heaven's sake, Spock, I'm so tired."

It was such a loud purr, and the tendrils so annoying in continuing their quest, that Uhura had to roll off her side onto her back. The tendrils drew back just in time to avoid being snapped off. "All right, all _right._"

Vigorous, soul-pleasing sex began, and Uhura's tiredness melted away. Once they were mutually and thrillingly satisfied, Spock clasped Uhura to his front and whispered into her ear: "I have told you about the purr, Nyota. Now let me tell you about the cinnamon."


	3. The First Time by LadyFangs

_**Author's Note:** Written for Calliope on her birthday. Edited by Aphrodite420_

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The First Time**

**By AquaSoulSis aka LadyFangs  
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Nyota Uhura was well aware that when most women recounted their first time making love, the stories were all the same.

First times were almost always reiterated with slightly lowered eyes, soft, wistful voices and small, dreamy smiles. She had heard it so many times, she had the script memorized. The male was almost always tall and handsome, dark or light. He was always kind and gentle and, of course, well-endowed. The lovemaking was always so good it made them see stars and Bambi always pranced in the lush green wood with the sun shining and rainbows coming out of his ass, birds chirping overhead.

Whenever she interjected to ask how something that consisted of sweat and blood and penetration could _possibly_ elicit those kinds of feelings, she usually got THAT look- the look of pity. And it was usually accompanied by this statement:

"Oh, Nyota, when you're older…."

Whatever. She'd read the books. She'd seen the films. She'd even sat through labor. The tearing of vaginal tissue was not exactly on her list of top ten things to do. As far as she was concerned, it was a necessity, that's it. Life was never meant to be full of crystal stairs, and Nyota Uhura was pragmatic enough to call bullshit when she heard it.

**.**

**.**

It was not until her sophomore year in Starfleet that Nyota Penda Uhura found herself in the most impossible position. She was smart, talented, Number One over-achiever—and a 20-year old virgin. But that wasn't the impossibility. The impossibility came in the individual her body seemed to have chosen to want to consummate with. And of all the eligible humanoid species in the galaxy, her pussy had chosen a Vulcan.

It was enough to make a grown woman scream.

And scream she did. It was the scream that tore from her throat that got the attention of her Orion roommate.

"I don't see what the biggie is. He's fine as hell. Nice chest, nice ass, tall, dark…those lips, those eyes. Yep. Works in my book," Gaila was presently perched naked on her bed, painting her green nail beds a hot pink.

Uhura was presently laying face down on her own bed, pillow over her head as she recounted her most recent discovery. After all, who better to consult with about sex than an Orion? Sure, it may have been stereotypical, but that didn't make it any less true. And even Gaila acknowledged it. Actually, she equated the Orion faith to the "free love" philosophy that had rocked the Haight-Ashbury and defined a particular generation of youth during Earth's 1960's.

Uhura flopped over onto her back with a huff.

"Gaila, even if it _were_ possible that he may be…interested…to do anything about it would be career suicide."

"Yeah, but you gotta admit, it's a hell of a way to go."

Uhura let her flying pillow respond for her and the girls dissolved into laughter.

Still, the green girl wasn't too far off base. For, while Nyota herself wasn't one to tempt fate, apparently career suicide did not seem to deter the object of her affections.

She knew that later on in their relationship, people would look back and think she was the one to initiate it.

They would be so wrong.

It happened suddenly. It wasn't discreet at all.

One day, in broad daylight, she'd been on her way out of his classroom. She was the last one to leave.

Just as she approached the exit door, he called to her.

Curious, she turned around and went back to where he was standing by the lectern.

She looked up into his face, those eyes, and those lips. She felt her body go hot, and then—he reached out, grabbed her, and she learned at that moment what that mouth tasted like. what that body felt like as it was pressed against her.

It was something she NEVER wanted to let go of.

**II**

One day, when their story was told, it would be a fairy tale. They met, it was love at first sight, He was tall, dark and gorgeous, with a dick that swayed in the wind.

That wasn't even close.

Well, he_ was _tall, dark and gorgeous…but his dick, er- _lok, _most certainly did NOT sway in the wind.

In fact…it didn't even sway from a whistle.

Humans had a name for it.

She couldn't have been more crushed if someone had run over her puppy and then jumped on it with steel-toed boots.

One night, her dreams of Lematya-like sex were dashed when she realized that the Vulcan she loved…was hung like a gnat.

**.**

**.**

"I know this is your first time. I will be gentle."

They were currently in his flat, their bodies naked and entwined on his large, California-king sized bed.

The shades were drawn, casting the room into shadow.

She could feel the tickle of the hair on his arms and legs between hers as he stared into her eyes from above her.

Their hearts beat in sync, and for a minute, just a minute, she closed her eyes and dared to believe the fairy tales of first times she'd heard were true…

When his mouth met hers she moaned, and when his tongue slipped to her neck and sucked, she exhaled jagged breaths.

And as his tongue started dancing across her stomach, his hands gently kneading her breasts, she began to look at first time stories differently. And when his head dipped below her waist and he parted her nether lips with his tongue and took one long lick….

Her hips reacted of their own volition and she screamed her approval in every language she knew.

And when he brought her back down from her orgasm, she shifted beneath him, legs open, body wet and wanting, waiting to feel him inside her…and for them to become one.

She looked at him, her hair mussed, body slick with her sweat, eyes dark with want - and she knew, just knew, that fairy tales _did_ come true….

He reared up, wrapping her legs around him, and she closed her eyes as he leaned in close, his hand slipping between her legs to part her, preparing her for what was to come.

She breathed deeply, expecting his first thrust, anticipating it…waiting for that feeling of being fulfilled in the way only a man could do….

And he thrust…and thrust…and thrust….

**.**

**.**

Nyota's eyes popped open in shock as Spock writhed and panted above her, his movements growing increasingly faster until her legs bounced around him and he cried out in absolute pleasure before collapsing against her breasts.

His long fingers gently rose to her face and instantly her thoughts were flooded with his.

_Warmth, love, pleasure…then…confusion…worry…concern.…_

He pulled away and rolled off her, turning to face her as she stared at him in open-mouthed shock.

"Nyota, what is wrong? Are you injured?"

"Are you finished?" She heard her voice reply, and then mentally slapped herself at the stricken expression on his face.

"Did you not feel your climax?" he asked cautiously.

She threw the blankets off her body and rolled over to face him. How to put it as delicately as possible?

"I didn't _feel _anything_."_

His brow furrowed in confusion as he looked at her and instantly retreated into full-Vulcan mode.

"Specify."

"Spock, I've never had sex before. I think I'm supposed to feel _something_. _Something_ is supposed to happen. Look—"

She waved one hand at the still white-sheets, not a trace of their activities on them.

"There's nothing there, Spock. It's supposed to…you know..."

Her voice trailed off, and then her eyes lowered to the place where the sheet still covered his lower half.

Suddenly, her mind began to wrap around a hypothesis that she didn't quite want to believe….

"Spock…."

He looked at her warily as she scooted closer to him.

"Yes, Nyota?"

His voice was firm, his hand clasping the thin cloth that separated her from him.

"I want to see."

He looked at her.

"Specify."

This time, she felt a bit cross.

"You know what I mean!"

"Very well."

He let the sheet drop and when he did, she gasped.

"Is that it?"

"On Vulcan I am considered much larger than the average male due to my human heritage."

**III**

Long, tense moments passed between them as Spock simply stared blankly at her, and her skin flushed hot with embarrassment.

It had come out so wrong. Granted, there was no information on Vulcan biology…but she couldn't help but imagine that a species with superior strength, intellect…would have other..._superior _qualities, too.

Apparently not.

It was the length of her middle finger and just as thick too.

**.**

**.**

Days after their doomed first sexual expedition, they sat together, fully clothed and trying to broach a most uncomfortable subject.

"But, how do Vulcans…."

"As you know, my species are touch-telepaths. Certain parts of the anatomy of Vulcan males are not as important as that of human males, as we have a telepathic contact that facilitates the additional stimulation."

She looked at him from her place on the other side of the table where they were now seated. Spock said nothing more, but raised his mug of tea to his lips and drank.

"But I am NOT a Vulcan woman. And neither was your Mother!"

At the mention of his parents, the tips of his ears flushed green.

"I understand if you find my performance…wanting. Your needs are most important and I understand and accept if you choose to search for another mate."

Fear gripped her at the thought of actually losing him and she quickly got up and walked around the table to straddle his lap.

Warm lips met hers in a kiss, and through the touch she could feel his trepidation.

"Spock," she murmured into his mouth.

"I love you. If your parents managed to deal with it, so will we."

He kissed her back and proceeded to carry her to his couch, where his oh-so-talented tongue handled the rest.

**.**

**.**

Weeks later, their naked bodies once again peeled apart. His hair was mussed; their bodies gleamed in after-sex glow.

"Spock…."

She trembled at his touch as he pulled her into his embrace and gently nibbled at her neck.

"That was…."

"Yes," he whispered into her hair.

"That was…."

She could barely talk, and her legs were shaking as yet another post-orgasm hit her.

Through his touch she could hear his thoughts clearly.

"I am grateful we discovered the penis pump."

"And those male enhancement pills really worked, too!"


	4. The Wedding Gift: TalesFromtheSpockSide

**The Wedding Gift**

**By TalesFromtheSpockSide**

_* For Calliope on her birthday...a strange genitals contribution._

The day had come at last, and now, the night.

Nyota's grin had gone from smug to starry-eyed over the course of the past few hours. Spock's expression had not changed from its usual courteous neutrality, which neither bothered nor surprised anyone. He was among a throng of ebullient humans (mostly humans) at a wedding - his own - and it was only logical for him to maintain rigorous control over his own emotions.

He would release that control soon, with his bride.

When they were finally inside their honeymoon suite, and the door and comm line were secured, Spock abandoned any pretense of interest in anything but Nyota and began to shed his clothing, walking toward her as she came out of the opulent bath chamber in her undergarments.

"I love that dress, but it's not very comfortable - " she was saying, running her fingers through the hair she had loosed down her back. She stopped cold at the sight of her Vulcan, who had gotten down to the t-shirt and pants layer and was just lifting the shirt off over his head.

"Now *that*," she pronounced, hands on her hips now, "looks comfortable."

Spock said not a word, finished stripping without looking at her at all; she would have felt slighted except that she knew his single-minded purpose. She made no move to get rid of her bra and panties, and when Spock finished and stood up straight, she sighed and let her eyes feast on his form.

They had made love before; it wasn't the first time she'd seen him nude. Still, the fact that they were now bound and public and forever made him all the more desirable to her. He came over to lay his hands on her shoulders, lightly, and tilted his head down to kiss her, soft and wet and hot. Just like the rush between her legs, and the moisture she felt on his tip as he pressed her body to him.

He backed up to the bed and sat down, pulling her panties down and off and then reaching around to unfasten her bra. Then he lifted her high, placing her feet on either side of him and holding her hips steady as she stood over him, and he plunged his mouth up into the vee of her legs as she bent to clutch his shoulders and gasped and keened and came, came, came. At last his strong arms lowered her to straddle his waist as he lay back on the bed.

"Only the beginning, k'diwa," he murmured into another soft kiss, then raised her back up to a sitting position so he could fondle and tease her nipples. Nyota hadn't completely recovered and felt her arousal building again quickly, and she moaned.

"Please, honey," she whispered. "I want you to fill my body..."

"Soon," said her lover. "Close your eyes and feel, love."

She did so, tipping her head back and letting her long tresses tickle her spine as his fingers danced over her torso. She felt a nudge on her backside and smiled.

"Mmm, that's what I want," she said, flexing her buttocks.

Then she screamed, "What the HELL!"

Nyota's eyes flew open and her body tensed for escape, but Spock's hands were firm on her hipbones and he looked steadily at her.

"Do not be alarmed," he said gently. "It is a surprise to you, I know, but one you will enjoy."

"What? What is it?" she panted, feeling another nudge, not like the first, higher up her back. Yet...his hands were on her hips...

"A unique aspect of male Vulcan anatomy," he told her, as though he were reporting the time. "One which is only shared with one's life mate, which you now are."

"But what - " She tried to twist around, to look, and he lifted her easily and set her down again, this time straddling his thighs so that his genitals lay before her.

There was...more to them than met the eye. Nyota wasn't a bioscientist, but she found herself fascinated by the sight of Spock's previously familiar green penis, semi-erect and extended upward over his abdomen...and growing. Growing? It was emerging from his body like a long tongue, pushing out of his black bush until it reached just past his navel. Then it seemed to stop, perhaps to rest, and she looked up at his face in wonder. She could feel him finally dropping his mental shields entirely; this was his wedding gift to her?

"Holy cats, Spock. How long does it get?"

His expression was more smug than she had ever seen as he answered, "I have never measured it. Perhaps we shall do so...later."

Her gaze fell back down, just in time to see his organ twitch. She giggled, then gasped. It wasn't just twitching...it was moving. Like a prehensile tail, it slid smoothly S-shaped down Spock's belly toward her, not alarming but bizarrely sensuous. The head touched her thigh, then wriggled over to touch her other thigh, then crept up between them to nudge at her wet, throbbing center.

"Oh my gods," she breathed. "Can you control it?"

"Yes," he replied. "When I am conscious. When unconscious, I have no power over it, but once retracted it remains quiescent."

"No wonder I've never seen this trick," she muttered. "Spock, you are a wonder and a treasure. In so many ways."

"As are you, Nyota," he said and drew her down against him, insinuating his elongated member between her thighs as she giggled again. She felt the head, slick from rubbing against her sex, squirm between her buttocks, exploring, teasing, then it pulled out and caressed her ass cheeks while Spock's mouth and hands caressed her face and breasts.

"Now," he murmured against her throat. "Are you ready, my love?"

"I hope so," she breathed. "Bring it on, baby."

She felt him slide into her almost gently, just as she'd felt many times, but further in than ever before, and when his tip bumped the bend of her cervix he stopped and seemed to adjust his length, fitting their bodies tightly against each other. She ground her sex against his pubic bone and felt him grab her ass with both hands, urging her on.

"Yes, yessssss..." he moaned. His flesh thickened inside her and he shifted slightly so that the base of his cock actually curved to press against her clitoris. She felt him now undulating inside, caressing the walls of her vagina; he began to rock their bodies together and their soft cries combined, echoed, rose with their ecstasy, and became screams of joy.

When Nyota lay panting and amazed on his chest, Spock stroked her hair and murmured, "You must keep this secret, you understand."

She raised her head and grinned.

"Are you kidding? Of course I'll keep it secret. If word gets out everybody will want one..."


End file.
